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This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License.
CSRID Journal Editor's Office:
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Revive Her Drive
oleh Rosaria Wetzell (2020-08-07)
They called me for a Revive Her Drive consultation. "How do we take care of ourselves while respecting each other's needs and ways of doing things?" For example, Lily always woke up each morning by her own internal clock. She could tell herself at night that she wanted to be awake at 7:00 and she would wake up at 7:00. She hated waking up to an alarm clock. Don always woke up with an alarm clock, and during the week would get up at 5:30. Since they had previously been together only on weekends, this had never been a problem. Now it was a huge problem. Don needed the alarm and Lily, jolted awake each morning, was feeling very grumpy. They wanted to sleep in the same bed. What to do? And this was only one of many different issues that had come up since they got married. All relationships have issues such as these. It may be that one person is neat and the other messy, one partner is on time and the other is late, one is a morning person and the other a night person, one a democrat and the other republican, one wants sex frequently and the other is not often turned on. Does one partner have to give himself or herself up for the other? This does NOT work well. It will eventually lead to resentment. Problems such as these get resolved only when both partners have each other's highest good at heart, as well as their own highest good. If one or both partners are focused on winning or not losing, neither will be happy with the solution. But when both partners care about themselves and each other, they will find solutions where both feel like winners.
How Does Revive Her Drive Work?